Wednesday, 19 February 2014

Nightmares recently.

Keep having nightmares, some I cant remember but I'm left with an awful feeling afterwards. The ones I do remember I wish I couldn't. Violent aggressive dreams, plenty of blood, so much I start to drown in it. As it congeals and clots I'm trapped, and like quicksand, it holds me stationary. People are beheaded, in front of me in a Games of Thrones fashion, the heads of women by the dozens float by me as the blood continues to rise, there's a figure I can't work out, he's always turned away or blurred so I can't see a face, whoever that person is, they seem to be leading everything. Then some other random character- an actor I recognise, who doesn't belong in my reality turns up and I realise it's just a dream, then I wake up. I swear I can taste blood afterwards, this has been happening since I had those nosebleeds.

That's not the only dream though, last night I dreamt of being led by the same faceless character, through door after door and with every door I went through the space became tighter, the walls shrunk and I had to run to keep up and away from the closing space, once the door behind me shut on the crushed room, the shrinking would start again in the next one. Finally he left me at a cross road of corridors, there were three doors, like public toilet doors, but I wasn't interested in them, I was staring at the brick wall and painted there was the green door. He hadn't told me how to get through it, and now he'd disappeared, the walls started closing in again, I could have picked any of the three toilet cubicle doors to escape into but I wouldn't. I just kept waiting for the green painted door to reveal how it opened, I woke up moments before the room collapsed on me. Even when I'm awake I feel like an idiot, why didn't my dream-self just jump into one of the other doors, and at the same time that ever ringing question is in my mind: What's behind the green door?

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