20 years from now.

In 20 years time I'll be forty.
You might say that's a long time...but 20 years have already gone by. I'm going to write down the dream, not really a prayer or wish but a reminder. In 20 years time, I will have finished that god forsaken bloody book. If you don't know me personally you don't understand. Grace is everything to me. She's literally become the breath in my lungs and the blood in my veins. She's everything I cannot bring myself to be, and you know...she would have published this book by now.
    I have written others, that's easy. But they're not my masterpiece, Grace is my masterpiece. She's the one that will make it, and if she doesn't then I am not what I always thought I was meant to be, and then I truly will own a broken heart.

So I will be forty, I will be settled in a suitable home, a home that can house my family...that's two children who are fully formed, birthed and about 16 and 14 by now. If they're girls I will be freaking out at skirt lengths and lying awake at night worrying, if they're boys I'll be shoving condoms in their pockets, begging them to be careful, and still worrying. I will have become an independent, self sufficient woman who has aged gracefully. :-) hahaha. My vegetable patch will be thriving, my apple tree I planted at arrival will be flourishing, and I'll be married to someone worthy of my love and affection, with good brains, so the children take after him. At forty I've probably changed career 2-3 times, and taken various courses all in the aid of my last and final career of owning a tearoom boutique gift shop. The dog that we brought into our home at first and loved and cherished has by now likely passed away :-( but we still have Jerome, and he sits on my beautiful dressing table in the bedroom and we now have a micro pig! Oh yes a cute little micro pig waddling around the house. I'm not sure what career I'll be in when I'm forty, but I hope to god its decently paid and still hasn't required me to pass GCSE maths because come on! That's never going to happen!

So we've been on various holidays, I've done various things off my bucket list, and in five years both kids will have flown to uni or gotten jobs and therefore I'm kicking them out! ha ha, just kidding...sort of. Me and the hubby have saved enough money to finally sell the house and move somewhere in the country, where Ethel (the pig) or maybe Howard, it's a tough choice depending on gender can roam about in fresh air with us. I will now be opening my shop, and of course it will thrive. My husband, who has not died of a stroke, can retire early and we both leave the shop in the hands of someone trustworthy while we take a campervan tour of America, something I have waited to do for a long time, and we still hold hands and still have sex, with the help of blue pills and me looking like a hot fifty year old Jennifer Anniston :-)

So that's the dream. Oh and somewhere in that my books have become globally successful and made into award winning films so we only work so we have something to do because we're actually RICH!!