It wasn't nothing.
It was something. Something dark and dangerous. I feel so detached, as if viewing a stranger handling the situation from behind a glass pane. If this was one of my own, if I had any feeling what so ever I would know exactly how I would react, what I would say, the action I would take. But thank God it's not one of my own. My dear ones are fine and I feel guilty for the relief I feel because it's not one of them.
I feel like I am a bad person because of the way I am reacting to this news. The way I am feeling.
I cannot help what I think.
The fact is, things are changing, and I cannot abide change like this.
Someone has Cancer and everything is going to change.