Back from shopping, P.J's on, ready to review my purchases. In fairness, everything is a sale reduced item! Now I can feel guilty about the eggshell blue French-feel coat I talked my way into getting for a tenner less than the 50% off sale price, and the tubs of on sale body butter, the scarf, the should have been £30-now £10 cloche hat to match the coat of course!, the top, the jumper, the jeans, ...yes I can feel a tad guilty about those, but the Pink paper bags of satin and lace I simply cannot regret...they are justified, they are necessary, they are the wrappings of new lingerie. Who needs heels when you're 5 foot 9? Who needs expensive highlights when you're a £5 box of post box red, who needs diamonds when your smile is almost as good ;-) But a girl like me, I need nice underwear.
I recently wrote a passage in a new novel I'm composing in which my character is in the lingerie store buying a bralet- this is the newest phase in underwear fashion, a bra with an inch band beneath the cups, it offers firmer support and hides that little bit extra of skin just giving a sort of 1950's feel to a very naughty modern plunge. When I saw a replica of the piece I'd described in my book I knew I had to have it, lilac like the old ladies jumpers in Marks and Spencers, overlaid with black lace and bows, a chunky transparent band and thin satin straps, it's screaming for stockings. I don't know which to wear first, the bralet or the Waspie. A Waspie is even more wildly retro, a suspender belt that hides half your tummy emphasizing your tits. This one is contrasting black and white with three bold bows and straight laced lines, the tiniest hint of a frill at the edge as if it knows it looks husband home from the war and needs softening. The bra to match features a little black diamond bead nestled in between the cups, I wonder if the light from the bedroom lamp will make it twinkle invitingly between the pair of breasts that will spill from the half-plunge, I call something a half-plunge when its the cut of a plunge but still has a band of more than an inch, if you've owned a full-plunge you'll know the difference, a full-plunge usually has little or not band in between cups, just a thin connecter usually the width of a thin strap, this sort of bra means your cleavage line can go as low as your breast line (that's the line where they push together) can go.
Then I have a new black satin suspender belt, the satin looks silky and wet in comparison to the lace one I already own, I like the change, I'm not saying when fabric shimmers like moisture it leads men's minds to something else, but that's what it makes me think about.
Last of all, disregarding the various pairs of panties, hipster and French knickers, I have a new negligee, completely transparent but alternating between sheer chiffon and slightly denser lace, very low back, its only a slip of fabric.
No guilt whatsoever, I'd starve for a fortnight rather than give them up. It's still not enough. I'm sat here wishing I'd bought the other bra I liked too, I'm wishing I'd gotten that body piece in the purple as just a little extra, and this I think is why I will get a full time probably lousy job and work hard every day and forget about the summer holidays and the lack of freedom, and the miserable routine I will be forced to conform to, because I will be able to buy these pretty bits of luxury. One of the only luxuries I allow myself.
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