Spring

It happens every year to most people I guess, Christmas is over and the cold settles into January with a vengeful hatred as it hopes it might be able to freeze the country to an extent that Spring won't be able to revive it again. Spring is often a season neglected I think, everyone longs for summer, but Spring is the conqueror of Winter that paves the way into warmer days. It's right about now I miss the flowers, and the trees look like haggard skeletons clawing out in desperate need of coverage. My lips are dry and my hair feels a little brittle, my skin has paled from an olive tan to a nude. For me Spring is all about my joints easing back into painless consciousness and getting my fingers in some fresh soil to grow something. It's about softening the hair and skin with lotion and sunshine, and lounging around singing along to the Kinks 'Sunny Afternoon'. I know this year's Spring will be different. The real world is calling and if I don't walk towards it, then it's just going to come all the faster at me of it's own accord. This Spring will be deadlines that seal the last 3 years, job searching and interviews and hopefully, God willing, a placement somewhere with a steady income. Then its the thing I dread most but have over the years gotten better at, meeting new people, adapting to new surroundings. I hate change, I always have. This is what I've been waiting for, nagging Time to hurry up and let my life start, but now I'm uncertain and I'm uncomfortable and worried about letting people down. I wish I had last Spring back again, it was such a good Spring, with good changes and I felt like a new person, living a new life. Last Spring was the best of my life, if this one is as good I'll be ok.