I said I wouldn't stress out until Christmas...well Christmas has come and gone and it's one more day until New Year rings out. So it's safe to say, I am officially on the window ledge of stress. I won't reach summer, not without something. I refuse to let the sun shine on my un-employed face.
I'm up for another placement soon, which this time I know will be decent, in a clean safe place. Even so another un-paid placement doesn't change much, no one really cares about what you're doing for free, they care that you haven't got a penny to spare from your pocket.
There's no point in writing on my New Years resolutions that I will 'try harder' to find work, because I know that there is nothing short of taking my clothes off and begging on my naked knees in gravel that I can possibly do more of. I am trying the hardest I can, every week day I approach this search like a job itself and people keep saying 'something will happen soon' but soon is turning into a stretch I can't shrug my shoulders about. I hope once this new reference in on my credentials I'll be noticed a bit more, lately I feel as if I'm a blank piece of paper and no matter how roughly I shove myself in front of someone they don't see anything.
I'd sit in a room eight hours a day and sort knifes from forks and pack them into boxes if it would earn a wage for myself.