Sunday, 26 March 2017

Dreading tomorrow

I'm dreading the morning. Lately I can't seem to do anything right, ten tasks-completed= one-not good enough. The atmosphere has really dropped too, a dark and boring cloud has descended making every day a bit harder. It's very much like living in Ground Hog day- too often it's a miserable day rather than a good one. I can't shake off these headaches, or this constant fatigue. I can't focus on the weekends and doing fun days out because Jones works every weekend now.

There's so much back handed information and two faced comments there that you dare not speak out to anybody about how you feel, risking it being twisted and repeated. I feel quite isolated now. I used to fairly enjoy my days as much as one can you know, but now it's just getting harder to find motivation, when everything seems to be a challenge with no reward, every task is endless and repetitive.

I have been thinking about my handmade craft products a lot, I keep thinking how much I really need to make this work. If I don't give it a really good go, I'll never forgive myself. I need to prove to myself either way whether it will be a success or not. If I could make just half what I earn now I'd feel like I was the most successful woman in the world. I really need to keep pushing on, I'm just finding it really difficult.

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