Thinking about the whole Plan A, B thing there's another thing that's playing on my mind.
I know what my strengths are, and I know my weaknesses and I know what I can and can't do. I think all that is a fairly decent trait to have. I can take some pieces of scrap and make them into something creative and wonderful, I can get a group of bored little girls to get up, have fun and learn, I can build a paper mache mummy case for Halloween, I can recycle just about anything which makes me a little bit of a hoarder, I can grow my own fruits and vegetables and landscape a garden that's colourful all year round.
So I can't count. I don't like pushing people and I'm not intimidating, I don't have the killer instinct or the sharp edge of business. I don't have a head for figures and I've never even wanted to click the Microsoft Excel link since I was 11 and was confused in my first IT class.
Isn't that the point though? In why I studied English in a humanities based campus. I didn't study accountancy or business studies or god forbid maths because I don't want to do those things!! Why would I come out of an English degree, a writing degree for gods sake and try and convince people I'm sales orientated, numeracy hands on and money driven? Surely it's not going to wash with anybody. I do not suit sitting at a desk with a computer screen of numbers and boxes and what are they called...spreadsheets?? My friends jaws would hit the floor. I'm the person you want to hire to plan your perfect wedding, I'm the person who you run to when you've forgotten a birthday and need a decorated cake ASAP. You leave your children with me while you run to the shops. I'm great for putting you back on your feet after a break up. I know a lot about books and literature. I can't count, I'm not a pushy sell sell sell motivated business shark.
I will settle for something I'm not addicted to, something that's not my dream, even something I don't really like but I'm not going to persecute myself and settle for a job I know I'm not cut out for. I'm going to mention God again, as I do, but frankly God placed me in this world and there is a place for me doing something that suits my abilities and talents. I will get there eventually.
Everyone else can just stop nagging at me.