I boil the kettle, I kick my shoes off that are beginning to pinch and wiggle my toes taking the advantage of the new freedom to knock one of the shoes into the corner in a 'Score!' like fashion. The tea is hot in my mouth, the steam billowing up from the cup and I put on the Twinning's advert song "Wherever You Will Go" in the background just because it feels natural even though this isn't Twinning's, its Typhoo. A day of girl talk and shopping has left me feeling content and buzzing with a relaxed woman's own state of mind that has evaded me lately. For the first time in months I haven't felt stressed out and wound up in that tight coil of apprehension that's been my long suffering mental illness lately, I've actually wound down today, it feels great. Maybe it's a sign that I have been surrounded by too many zombies and spaceships lately and not enough handbags and eyeliners. Now a cup of tea and stretch of the toes is the only thing necessary for a perfect ending to a good day.
This sounds a little strong considering its been well over a year overdue, but I feel like I've finally had the conversation I needed to have with someone who actually understood and related. It wasn't just a guessing game, or an empathy thing, it was raw, real understanding. Only someone who's suffered the same thing with so many reflective events and circumstances could understand. It's like looking in a heartbreak mirror.
Who needs a therapists couch?!
I am now ready to lounge around in some P.J's and put on some Midsomer Murders, while I review my purchases. I said I wouldn't buy much, I have arrived home with 6 bags, lol. In fairness, everything is a sale reduced item! Now I can feel guilty about the eggshell blue French-feel coat I talked my way into getting for a tenner less than the 50% off sale price, and the tubs of on sale body butter, the scarf, the should have been £30-now £10 cloche hat to match the coat of course!, the top, the jumper, the jeans, ...yes I can feel a tad guilty about those, but the Pink paper bags of satin and lace I simply cannot regret...they are justified, they are necessary, they are the wrappings of new lingerie. Who needs heels when you're 5 foot 9? Who needs expensive highlights when you're a £5 box of post box red, who needs diamonds when your smile is almost as good ;-) But a girl like me, I need nice underwear.