Sunday, 18 August 2013

A bag on top of the wardrobe

My heads at odds with itself, I feel weird and suffocated again. It's probably just restlessness. No Uni, No job, no money, not until September. I'm craving September to roll around, everything should fall into place in the autumn.

Right now I have something that's been at the back of my mind but it's bothering me now. I guess because unless I skip out of the country I'll always hear the Keyholder's name mentioned every now and again, but I have a bag on top of the wardrobe in the spare room and inside are the only things left of that part of my life. Silly things, a wooden box, a few letters and cards. Physical memories quietly tucked away out of sight. They mean nothing to anyone but me, but part of the physic belief in me thinks their mere presence in my house is holding more than just memories there. They hold the energy of childhood, growing up and first love. If I were to draw a circle and symbolically burn these items it wouldn't just destroy them, it would in wiccan terms release me completely. As this bag is the only thing left of my puppet strings. It's not been a year yet but it feels like a century. I feel like it's time to let go of all and everything otherwise I wont be able to fully give into this new adventure.

I shouldn't have put this off for so long. Not with my wiccan ideas and rituals. I should have let the last of it all go when I let him go. I'll draw the circle tomorrow.

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