Monday, 31 March 2014


Lately I've been having such awful, miserable dreams. I know they've been brought from stress and psychological issues imbedded in my head, but finally the last two nights I dreamt easily, pleasant feelings and fuzziness when I awoke, dreams of cake and triangle cut sandwiches, and dreams of Him. Him being the stranger who I actually know, the one I always dream about when it's...'that' kind of dream. My mind sometimes becomes a time machine, and the images it gives me are so vivid, the experience so detailed I swear for a moment I was actually there. I can taste a drop of salt on my lower lip, I can still feel the heat that spread up my back and around my neck like his hands, I wake up with my heart still racing and a very physical reaction left from the aftermath of the dream. He's still taller than me but not by much, he fits my frame perfectly, freckles splattered beneath a pink flush of his Greek straight nose and cheeks. Wolfish hair covering his arms and chest. I can feel the scratch of stubble and the soft fur even once I'm awake and I'm breathless. I know him, but he doesn't know me yet, and I can play his ignorance to my advantage knowing there will be no consequences because when I dream like this I know full well it's a dream, I dream the dream for fun, I'm sure I could wake myself up if I wanted to. I'm no longer the clumsy, foolish reality of who I am when I'm awake, I can actually play a part like a seductive actress. These dreams are my favourites, travelling back in time and enjoying myself, it's waking up that drives me mad, I wake up in a hot flush and cant concentrate properly for the rest of the day, at least when I wake up I have a few gleeful moments of smiling to myself knowing he's mine in this time, that no matter how many times I go back in my dreams and he doesn't know me, I'll wake up in a world where he does and he is mine. Anyone can have the past where the dream version lives, but no one but me will have the here and now and the future.
I won't give him up now.
I'm actually quite possessive.

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