I hate that I'm so clumsy.
I hate that I feel clumsy during sex, I'm most definitely a Sub. Christian Grey and me would get on like a house on fire, I'm suited to the role. The funny thing is I can talk the talk and I wiggle in the walk, and I can pick and choose and wear the sexiest underwear/outfit/costume that you throw at me, I could even win an Oscar for a role play performance if someone sent me a script and instructions, but put me in the drivers seat, hand over the controls and watch me buckle under pressure. A self conscious bundle of clumsiness and no matter how much research and reading I do to try and remedy this and enhance my sexual technique, or more accurately, lack of, I still feel the same.
It's been a god damn year! I expected progress. Maybe when I'm 30 I will have nailed this seduction thing and then I'll be a cougar, but to be honest the thought isn't particularly pleasing. I'm 20 years old, I am in the prime of my life! I'll never look this young, thin and firm again! I have 5 years tops before it starts going downhill with sag. I want to be a sex bomb now! I want to be worthy of Marilyn Monroe. Sex appeal...it's a strong concept, and I want it!