Sunday, 24 March 2013

arthritis flare up

Ow! Sodding Ow!
It's almost April, flowers blooming, baby animals being born, sun and warmth and life...NO! I have snow, and freezing temperatures, howling wind and suffering agony to endure. My arthritis has attacked my joints and swollen my knees and made me cripple up in pain. I dragged myself into work practically broke down unable to even move around at a human pace and was sent home, I can hardly move without my body screaming in anger at the effort. I've swallowed enough tablets to be a dealers best customer, I have coated myself in warm clothes and water bottles and still feel my body tensing up trying to cope with the aching.

I hate being weak. I hate this weakness being displayed to people, especially people that arn't used to seeing it. Poor things don't know what to do with themselves, and I'm constantly saying over and over generally through tears of pain "I'm fine I'm fine, don't worry, I'm ok, it's not a big deal, I'm fine" I'm not fine, I could break down and roll into a ball of agony but I'm fighting against it, and I don't like people worrying about me, I hate being such a bother. It's very nice to have a love and cuddle and some affection while dealing with cramped legs though hmmm, but Ow! I hate these moments in time when I'm reduced to being stationary and looking like a pathetic cripple. Annoyed! I am supposed to be planting my pumpkin seeds next week, I can't do that in the snow! :-(

I love England, I don't want to move anywhere else, but maybe just a little more warmth would be appreciated. I'd like to live in the south of England, by the sea somewhere. Nettle cottage or Blakemoor manor. I hate being trapped on a bed, it's not like it's in a sexy fifty shades way, it's a "I can't move and I'm misreble way" :-( Please let these tablets work. I might just slip into a coma for a week until everything stops hurting this much.

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