Friday, 8 March 2013

Monthly Periods, a woman's curse

This is one for the girls, but any man reading this should take notes.
Life is going along all good and well, until you hit the age of 12/13 and suddenly you're bleeding from the secret place between your legs and are gripped by the worst pain you've ever felt in your life. Not every girl suffers during her monthly but if you're anything like me, you will agree that nothing is so awful as coming on.
We bleed for around 5 days, we do not die!! That's weird!

Here is how my week of hell generally goes....
 I feel when I'm about to come on, just a woman's feeling, then some 15 minutes later I begin to bleed...
It's an hour or so before my insides are ripped apart and I'm doubled over, in tears clutching at my womb area and trying to breathe. I was 14 when I first got period pain that frightened my parents, gripping the sofa, biting knuckles, screaming pain..I was rushed into the doctors who injected me with morphine..have you seen twilight? When Bella's screaming a whole lot, well yeah that was me. From then on I was put on the Pill to take the pain down a notch, but bloody hell, it doesnt always work. Sometimes I am in agony. The pain comes and grips me before fading, then hitting again in a few more minutes, the doctor explained that the motion of a period is a mini scale of labour contractions. Fun huh?
My lower back aches like a bitch for the rest of the day, if possible I actually head to Chrissies and press myself against her kitchen archway wall, oh the relief. While this is happening I cant stand people. I snap, I bite, I glare, this will be the only time I'll raise my voice for no real reason. That's why I like being at Chrissies, around the girls, it calms me down.

The next day you awake and feel like some jack ass has knocked the almighty crap out of you, a kick in the 'bells' hurts does it boys?? LIKE HELL!! My sodding 'crotch, part, pussy, private place' -whatever the hell crude word you wanna use, is aching so much!! F*** Christ!! I feel bruised, I swear somebody took a crowbar to it during the night, oh the pain. I just wanna hold it, nurse it, but no girls cant walk around holding their sodding 'area' like men folk do, because thats not ladylike. Oh god it hurts. Around the 3rd day, the hormones start kicking in, I'm standing in the kitchen, or somewhere and I break a bowl and the bottom lip trembles. Everything is just awful isnt it!! Blubber, breath, blubber, tremble, break down in full on sobs and tears. Oh the misery. I need a hug! :-(
Get off me mum, you're suffocating me!
Calm down, try to cook dinner, drop 3 things, burn self on oven, curse very loudly and lose temper again, at some point theres gonna be another cry.
Men are quite frankly idiots ok, simple as. Men are idiots, they dont understand THIS! They say stupid things like "What's wrong with you?" "What you crying for now?" "It cant be that bad!"
Sodding jack ass's, If a woman murdered a man during her period, she should be pardoned. End of, it's totally understandable. Finally, after a week of pain, anger, hurt, distress, feeling like a dirty, disgusting shell of a person, we are all nice and great again..Wooooo!
But guess another 4 weeks, it's all going to happen again!
This is our curse and god help any man that dismisses this, because if theres one thing that brings any women together at any time, it's when they are both 'on' and we turn vicious, we are like wolf packs. Women that are close and especially those that live in the same enviroment turn animalistic, their monthly cycles regulate together and their bodies will naturally correspond with each other, freaky yeah!

1 comment:

  1. 'Wolf-like' muhahahahaha sounds like someone i know ;P we are our own pack ^.^ xxx