Thursday, 7 March 2013

God didn't give me sisters, but my brothers did.

Growing up I always thought, if only I was a boy things would be much easier. I did my best, I refused to wear anything but clothes from the boy section, I hated pink, I rode my bike daily in the garden and pretended to be an action fighter like in the movies. I begged for toys like action man and a tool box but to hardly any avail. Greg provided me some sort of salvation, with his old lego, my first action man :-) and his mini cars, I had these passed down to me to look after, then he moved away to the seaside.

I thought if I were a boy my brothers would play with me more, and I'd be able to do everything they did. Of course it would have just been easier if God had given me sisters, but he didnt. It would be years until I really understood what it was to feel a bond with siblings. God didn't give me sisters, but eventually my brothers did.

Christine and Stacey Lunn and Clair Bastable entered our family and would over time become my guardians, advisors and closest friends. I would learn to run to their door, to argue, shout, laugh, love and feel every special moment of what having sisters meant. If they left my brothers then hell, they'd get me in the divorce settlement, end of. I love the without a breath chatter I have with Chrissie, the hours of talking while dinners burning because I only meant to pop out for a second. I love the charged half shouting over one another and heated bitching about anything and everything of spending time with Stacey. Clair is quieter, more ladylike lol, I look to Clair in moments of relaxing rather than out right gossip, a cup of tea in their cozy living room even with the girls running riot is a time of de stress for me. There's no judgement and no chance of hurt or annoyance with these three. In my early years while struggling with hormones and teenage issues, it was my sister in law's that would notice the things only another woman can notice, they'd put my brothers right if neccesary and send them in my direction if my fragile teenage state needed their reassurance.

There was once a time my parents argued an awful lot, in a way I couldnt get used to, I was a sensitive girl and hearing things that may have been said without thought, but I took it to heart. I panicked sometimes when my father would talk of nothing but moving away and my mum argued back in refusal. I would learn eventually to take everything my dad says with a pinch of salt and a strong cup of tea, but back then I was easily led and easily distressed. The Lunn sisters had lived with their own share of family trouble and they related. It was them and my brothers that set these worries to rights, I should adapt myself to block my parents ramblings out, I needed to live for myself and nobody else, I wouldn't be going anywhere I didn't want, end of. "Sian will be staying with one of us if neccesary." My sisters were at the root of these reassurances.

I find it strange that the girls I know with blood sisters do not share the same sort of bond that we all share. For a start we have no secrets, if I wanted something to go around the family in five minutes flat I'd tell Stacey, who'd tell chrissie, who'd tell clair and somewhere along the line somebody would tell EVERYBODY! -oh yeah thats me haha. Big mouth!

I went to chrissie when the Key Holder left me, I broke down on her doorstep and then after that episode I dragged my sad sorry ass to Gregs to tell Stacey, Chrissie gets the pain and the tears, Stacey gets the fierceness and anger, (it's just the way it is) and by the time I get to Lee and Clairs I've calmed down enough to be composed and enjoy my cup of tea.
When I lose my virginity, they will be the first ones to know about it, childish yes, but could I really keep my hands off the phone with such burning news, no I don't think so.
When I get pregnant, heartbroken, engaged, a place of my own, a job -they will always be the ones I rush to. I start the flame and the watch the wild fire burn through the family :-) It's rather fun!

So when I casually mention a date is occurring,  is it "oh yeah, that's nice, have fun, be careful" NO! It's full on, "gimme the phone, I'm ringing chrissie, ....
Chrissie! It's Stace, Sians got another date, the new chap!"
"As A? ooo"
"yeah she's going red hahahah  yeah they're goin...where you say...yeah this place, then they're gonna do this...great ay it? I'm well chuffed, I've already giv' 'im the once over..."
"Did ya!? Me annal!"
"..Did ya? ...Chrissie's checked him out too, ..what you think? YEAH ME TOO! Great ay it...Chrissie's telling Emma...what's Emma say?..Emma's chuffed....
Well you get the gist of the way we go on lol. It's great, 'ay it!' lol

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