Friday, 1 March 2013

My Beginning

So thought I'd write a little background information on myself, in preparation really for the biography I need to write for university. So...
 It was the year 1993, lol, I was born Sian Amy parents Ronda and Stephen, but lets be honest I should have be born Elizabeth, or Catherine Kellet, or Rogers, or something glorious in 1800 around about.
However it is what it name, is pronounced shaahn...not Si anne, or Sean or some such like that. I really do hate it. The English variant of this welsh irritant is Jane. I actually like Jane..why can't people call me that instead? Because they're gits that's why.
 I was brought up in working class standards, in a working class street. I have no desire to be proud of my roots and all that nonsense some people spew out, I couldn't choose where I was born but if I could have done it would have been out in the countryside somewhere with a nicer accent than the black country. I remember from my childhood very specific things; car shows with my dad, polly pockets, the dog, and eating coronation chicken with my mum during trips to the art museum.

me, five days old

I have four older brothers and not many people appreciate the hardship of growing up with an age gap of ten years in a family of men. I was singled out already, I was to learn over the years how to adapt and how to fight for position. I watched my brothers leave one by one as their lives moved forward as they should, but eventually I was a little girl alone in a house that had once been full and it was hard. I got used to keeping my own company and I read books like reading was breathing.

I wouldnt say life growing up was wonderful, money has and always will be in this house, short and inconsistant. School uniforms were a struggle, the inside of cupboards didnt look like other peoples, the house was bare and plain. Not poor enough to cry poverty and make a best seller out of it, but sort of a middleish upbringing. I, like everyone, have issues with my parents, but out of respect I would not dwell on those feelings. I have not been abused or beaten or abandoned and I know I'm loved by my mother that is enough for me.

I have found over the years that my brothers mean the world to me, Lee, James, Greg, especially Gregory, we are close and I idolise them all. I love their wives, who are the best, most loving, dearest sisters I could have ever asked for. Then there are the darlings, I adore my nieces and nephews they are the most wonderful little people and I hope the bond I have with them remains for their entire lives. I have another brother Mitchel, but for some reason he keeps seperate from the family, I dont have the same connection with him and his household as I do with the others thats for certain. My second worst fear I will say is not getting old and dying...but it is getting old and watching my brothers die before me...with an age gap like ours its not unlikely that I'll be suffering the loss of those dearest to me one by one like flies. It terrifies me.

My parents brought me up to be very independant, I did my own household chores, I was given the family allowance money to buy my own food each week, and as survival more than anything else at the age of 12 I cooked for myself. Mum's cooking and me have never been on the best terms. So yes from a young age I've taken care of myself, but if I needed help I know I have people to turn to. God this is so boring isnt it? My life really did have a boring start. Well lets leave it there.

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