So here's a funny sort of thing...
If you've read previous blogs of mine you'll no doubt have cottoned on that I was never the most pretty or confident person. Frankly this isnt just self conscious nonsense, I'm just average, plain really, my friends have always been prettier, I dont begrude them it because they are each individually lovely and boys have always had nothing but praise for them. In clubs or just at college it's always my friends that have had the attention, men will cross rooms to talk to my friends, I'm usually the "will your friend go out with me" middle person. That's fine to be honest, I always thought that my creative side, my painting and such was my special thing and so I glow through that.
So here's the funny thing, since January, yes thats this January, well I think people have gone around the sodding bend! I became single a while ago, but suddenly something has changed, something in the force of nature has changed. Boys, Men are just popping up like daffodils! I've not just had a few one liners or chat ups but actual genuine "I like you, want to come out with me?" :-O and some of these chaps are really not half bad! Nice guys, I mean what! really? you want to buy me a drink? well ermm, I er...I erm..oh god say something Sian!!!
Now here's my argument....This is all very nice, these chaps, some randomers, approaching me but how am I supposed to handle this business? I tell you what's occurring at the moment i'm running up to my brothers every other day for advice. So for somebody who's useless at reading romantic situations, with little experience, and who's gone a long bloody time hiding in the shadows this new attention is very hard to cope with. Compliments are always surprising and really really flattering, but then of course comes the hot flush across my chest, up my back, stroking over my shoulders, tickling up my neck, pushing through my hair, like hands, a crimson blush splashed on my face. My stomach releases a flutter of butterflies, I feel a bright glow rush through me and have literally nothing to say. It really is cringe worthy. So then I must look like the sort of person who takes offence at compliments and I hate those kind of women. I'm really pleased you have an interest in me, I'm truly flattered, I just dont know what to do with it! If someone knows how to over come being shy and how to react in these situations then do tell me. Does anyone else actually relate to this?